A Digression, Film, Music, Shopping

Two Lovers Please

Leave a comment

I like movies. I like non-formulaic movies with at least a little thought in them.

I’ve heard good things about the movie Two Lovers -at least enough to make me think I might like to see it. I’m sure it is a good movie, but I won’t be going to see it.

I generally go to the cinema alone. I prefer it that way, but anyway my wife has little interest in movies even if we did get time off together.
So the thought of walking up to the ticket office alone and saying “Two Lovers please” is just too much. I could buy online and collect at the door, but I despise the idea of extra charges for such things -THEY’RE SAVING MONEY BY HAVING NOBODY THERE why should we pay more??

Another film I felt awkward buying a ticket for was “Michael Clayton”. Thankfully I hadn’t realised how awkward it was to say it until I was standing there with cash in hand saying it. It just felt wrong somehow. Not entirely sure why with that one.

Are movies with people’s names harder to say at the ticket desk?

I recall having a similar dilemma paying for Amelie. I think that might have a longer name in some countries (?) but around here it’s just called Amelie. The problem for me there though was the young couple who paid before me asked for two tickets to “Ay-muh-lee-uh”.

Even though I knew it to be wrong I had a sudden burst of …FEAR, is the only word I can think of, that I was about to say it wrong.
It induced a kind of mental stutter that heard me purchasing “One for the same please”.

Have you ever felt awkward saying something or someone’s name?

[By the way, this post was first made (by me)  in a reply to a Jett Loe post in The Film Talk]

A Digression, Gardening, Rat, THING, TV

DEAD RAT

Leave a comment

A little while ago my next door neighbour called to the door and asked if he could take some snips from flowers in our garden. I said of course, work away.

Long story, shortened: The previous owners of our house planted hundreds of flowers and plants all over the place. During the past 9 years of our tenure the garden has been forced to stand on its own two feet and fend for itself for the main part. If I’ve done nothing else, I like to think I’ve taught it some independence. Deirdre next door does some flower arranging every now & again. Her husband Con helps her gather what’s needed.

So Con went off and allowed me return to Series 1 of Damages (which incidentally is both awfully compelling and often just awful -a trend I’ve noticed in other TV shows such as The Tudors -it’s like they know they could be great, but are afraid to commit to being really great in case they lose the mass appeal. So every now & again they liberally apply Dumbdown (TM) and sprinkle it with an over-supply of Obviousness and pop it back in for a few minutes of crispy Crassness -a little something to please everyone, which results in nobody being happy with the end product.)

Glenn Close was being nasty and was about to make a nasty phonecall to another nasty lawyer when Con tapped on the window once again. It turned out he had made a discovery which can be summed up in two words: Dead Rat.

Yuck.

Continue reading DEAD RAT →

Happiness, Music, THING

Beautiful Rain

Leave a comment

Yesterday John Poland and I  (with the help of other invaluable souls) shot another video. Our third. This one is called Beautiful Rain.

As you can imagine with a title like that, the video involved some rain. It was a tough shoot. Not very much went according to our simple plans.  On paper it was very straightforward: There are just two verses in this song, with a small instrumental bit in between.

The idea for the video was this:

1. We see rain.

2. JP sings the first verse while standing in the rain.

3. Gorilla sees JP, casts off his umbrella and begins dancing in the rain.

4. JP sings the 2nd verse while standing in the rain, turning in circles.

That, more or less was the plan. We even had a little actual rain, which was nice. But we knew we would need a little more rain no matter what, so we were prepared with a hose with suitable sprinkler attachment.

We did some practice takes, with rainwear, but only when JP removed his protective clothing and began singing under the falldown did it become apparent that it was too damn cold!

Unfortunately, in the spot we were filming we were unable to run some hot water through a hose, otherwise it probably might have been doable. But within a minute-or-so it was obvious this idea would have to be scrapped.

Take a look at a wet JP:

screenshot1“SMILE JOHN!”

screenshot2“SING THE WORDS JOHN!”

screenshot3“LOOK UP INTO THE RAIN JOHN!”

screenshot4“DON’T RAISE YOUR HAND!”  “OPEN YOUR EYES!”  “SMILE!”

screenshot5“KEEP FACING FORWARD! SMILE! SMILE YA BASTARD! SMILE INTO THE BEAUTIFUL RAIN!!”

.

As you can imagine, I didn’t have it easy. Nothing I did or said could make it possible for JP to do it.

Anyway, initially we thought the day was a washout if you pardon the pun, but after thinking about it some more we came up with other ways of doing things. We made some compromises and added some alternative shots. That’s what happens with filming all the time, no doubt.

The important thing is WE WERE NOT BEATEN! We got the shots we needed -well almost all. We just need a teensy bit more -but we’re waiting for the right time to shoot.

Fear not -you will see the final video on here first, so keep checking back throughout the week to see how it looks. And did I mention the song is very nice indeed? Wait til you hear it -another great tune for our forthcoming Happiness Album !

A Digression, Happiness, THING

Victim o’ the wood

Leave a comment

There is something sinister about a lone man in a wood don’t you think? No companion, no dog, no jogging outfit -just a man alone, walking perhaps. In a wood.

I mean, a woman would obviously be nuts to go walking alone in a dark wooded area, but only for her lack of fear. Who knows what danger lurks around the nearest tree? I’m not justifying the fear, simply pointing out that it is logical (or at least human) even if irrational, to think it. And it’s likewise irrational not to.

But a man alone in a wood is most certainly a psycho killer. He is on his way back from dumping the body and now you are a witness and now he is going to kill you. Nobody else is within sight or earshot. The path is bringing you closer to him. There is no way you can escape without highlighting your fear. You know your fear is irrational. You know it is nuts to run away. You are forced to pass him on the narrow path, placing yourself within easy reach of his murderous hands. Will you be the fool or the victim?

A short while ago I was that man -the psycho killer in the wood I mean. I confess I didn’t murder anyone, but I might as well have had.

Continue reading Victim o’ the wood →

Eurovision, Happiness, Music, Ringtones, THING

Simply Happy Ringtone!

Leave a comment

I know what you’re thinking -“How could I possibly afford a Simply Happy Ringtone!?”

But fret not, because not only is this ringtone very cheap, it is in fact FREE!

You’ve watched the video, below, and sung along on the second listen and you found you couldn’t get the tune out of your head.

Now, take this mp3 ringtone (rightclick/Save-As) and do the same to your friends and enemies. Go forth and infest them with the upbeat positivity of your incoming phonecalls!

(Above ringtone contains the first Simply Happy chorus, followed by the more frenetic final chorus if you haven’t answered by then. If you’d prefer just the final chorus you can download it here.)

Spread the Happiness -Prepare to be hated!


Banks, Finance, Ireland, THING

EMERGENCY WHIP-AROUND!

Leave a comment

I urge you to heed what I’m saying. This is serious people. The world is on the brink and we all need to row together and prop each other up where we can.

That is why I am leading a campaign for an informal whip-around for one very special person. I’m sure you have a leaky tap you were looking to replace this year or were intending to buy a steak or some lamb chops this month or maybe you felt flathulach and thought you might splash out on a new pair of shoes (?)

But before you spend those coppers in your pocket, please please please spare a thought for the chairman of the Bank of Ireland, Mr. Brian Goggin, who I just heard on the radio. He expects to earn under 2 million euros this year.

Surely we can’t let this happen to a man who took home more than 2.9 million last year. I mean, that’s a 33% paycut!!

So, if any of you are rich on redundancy or were suddenly paid part of an invoice due to you two years ago, perhaps you could mosey on over to your nearest Bank of Ireland branch (if it hasn’t been closed during the streamlined Celtic Tiger years) and put a little something in an envelope for Mr. Goggin. You can trust Bank of Ireland to know what to do with it.

Give a little now. It will help a lot.

(They’ll be back for the rest later on.)